I’ve been pondering on something that maybe some of you will be able relate to. Ready? Here it is: The bathroom sink is a mysterious vessel, but one which may hold a lot of wisdom (or a lot of strife) – 0r both. Whether shiny and new, or old and honed, it is witness to the beauties and struggles of relationships between people. Did you ever think of that???
Well….me neither until recently when I’d just viewed yet another couple on a home decorating television show for whom the ONE bathroom sink in the master bathroom – in an otherwise lovely home – was a “deal breaker”. Here’s a couple of examples I heard: “If Bart and I have to share this sink, we will KILL each other!”… “No WAY I’m sharing this sink with “HIM”! Wow!!….if these are the kinds of sentiments these couples have for one another for the camera, I can only imagine what goes on behind closed doors.
For whatever reason, this monumental perceived “issue” of only one sink with this latest couple (echoed in the past, might I add, by the vast majority of others in these types of shows) caught my attention. Perhaps it was because this program had just been preceded by my husband and I doing our own little relationship dance around one another at our camp while getting ready for mass where – HORRORS! – we have only one sink and a small counter in our bathroom. How do we ever manage?!?!? I pondered for a time, and realized that we do indeed have a dance – a beautiful coordination – a lovely complementarity between us that is reflected even in the ordinary task of sharing a space to get ready for our day. I believe it speaks to the knowledge and respect that we have of each other, and a cognizance of each one’s needs, habits, patterns of behavior, strengths and weaknesses, and level of patience and self-giving. It was lovely to become aware that, truly, there is no issue whatsoever between he and I as we navigate our use of the bathroom sink. Awesome!!! I was delighted by – and very grateful for – that moment of grace that I was given.
At the same time, it made me a bit sad for the folks on these shows who erupt with such disdain for the possibility of having to share space with their beloved. Granted, it IS “reality TV”, I know – it’s not really “real” – although it is purported to be. Indeed, certain responses, etc. are contrived or encouraged by the producers to attain a certain sensationalism – and gain more viewers and advertisers – and money. However, the nature of the relationship between two people, as well as individual traits of self-centeredness, is nonetheless very evident – in ways that perhaps they are unaware of – at least to me as a person who examines and seeks to understand human behavior.
I realized in my pondering over all of this just how very telling are our thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors surrounding the use of something so very ordinary – the bathroom sink. It’s interesting to think about how something so simple can illuminate areas within us that might need a little examination, as well as bring to light the health of our relationship with our spouse. It might even lead to a really good open-ended exploratory question for a couple who is experiencing marital difficulties, offering a window into the deeper, underlying issues that are the root(s) of their current problems.
Something else for me to ponder…..